A woman took to Reddit to ask users whether she was wrong for lashing out at her mother-in-law for “overstepping” boundaries by getting a tattoo of her granddaughter’s name
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A woman was left “stunned” when her mother-in-law surprised her by getting a tattoo in celebration of her granddaughter being born.
In a post shared on Reddit, the 31-year-old woman explained that she and her husband, 32, recently welcomed their first child, a little girl.
“Our daughter is also the first grandchild on my husband’s side so, naturally everyone is excited,” she said, but her mother-in-law has “taken it to a whole other level.”
This year, she explained, she and her husband decided to stay home for Christmas and celebrate with their own little family.
But this did not go down well with her mother-in-law, who she says is “very attention-seeking and just over the top, to say the least.”
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“She kept saying how she wanted everyone to be together and she just didn’t understand why we couldn’t. So, in order to appease her, we decided that she and [father-in-law] could come up on Christmas eve to spend the day,” the woman explained, and all was going well until they were almost finished exchanging gifts.
“She told me and my husband that she had one last gift for our daughter and handed us an envelope.
“My husband proceeded to open the card and read it out loud. To sum it up, it said that she loved our daughter so much that she decided to get something for her and herself.
“What does that even mean?! We both look up and there she was pulling down her collar to show us a huge tattoo on her chest of a heart-shaped pearl necklace (my daughter’s birthstone), a couple of roses (birth flower) and our daughter’s name.”
The woman was “stunned.”
“I could feel the tears building up inside me. I turned to my husband and basically excused myself with my daughter to ‘feed her’,” she continued.
“I balled my eyes out in my bedroom.
“I wanted to get a tattoo of my daughter/ other children (we plan on having more) but I can’t right now because I’m breastfeeding. I was so upset because not only did my mother-in-law take her name but she also took her birthstone and flower!”
Once she’d sorted herself out, she came out to see her mother-in-law sobbing.
The woman apologised profusely and said she “didn’t think it was a big deal and that she thought she was doing something nice for my daughter.”
“She even said that she discussed her plans with [father-in-law] and their friends and everyone gave her the green light.
“I told her that my daughter was 6 months old and had no idea what a tattoo is and that she did this for attention just like everything else she does.
“I was upset with the fact that she didn’t even think to discuss it with us, her parents, about how we would feel about it. Mind you, she doesn’t even have her own children’s names tattooed on her!”
When she told her mother-in-law that she was “overstepping”, the woman told her that she was just trying to be “close” to her.
“What does that have anything to do with this?!” the original poster asked, adding: “I told her that she was NOT my mom nor would she ever be.”
Since the argument, the woman has reached out to the couple numerous times, about her birthday plans coming up.
“The fact that she is just trying to sweep this whole thing under the rug and go about as if nothing happened even makes me more angry. I never want to see my MIL’s tattoo. Am I the a**hole?” she concluded her post, and users were divided.
While a few people understood where the woman was coming from and thought her mother-in-law was “overstepping boundaries” others couldn’t see what the problem was.
One person said: “I fail to see why her getting a tattoo on her body is a problem and means you can’t get one. Like seriously who cares? Every single tattoo is unique so what’s it matter if you get one too?”
Another wrote: “What kicks me is that she called [mother-in-law] attention-seeking because her daughter doesn’t even know what a tattoo is, yet the only reason she doesn’t have a tattoo is because she’s breastfeeding. Wouldn’t [original poster] be doing it for attention then?”
But a third commented: “I find it so bizarre what the [mother-in-law] did. I also don’t like that people are writing off [original poster] getting upset about it as postpartum hormones. No. She’s just upset. Her feelings are valid. I would be SO uncomfortable if anyone in my family got a giant tattoo of my child. Doesn’t matter if it’s their body. It’s my child. So weird.”
Someone else agreed, saying: “It is VERY weird to get a tattoo representing someone else’s child without the parent’s knowledge or consent.”
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