Kavanaugh Claims Protesters Outside Home Obstructing Daily Keg Delivery

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Brett Kavanaugh blasted protesters exterior his residence for “callously and cruelly” obstructing the day by day keg supply he has relied upon for the previous twenty-two years.

According to the jurist, a truck belonging to Roscoe’s Beer Depot, which has made the common keg deliveries with no earlier interruption, was unable to show in to Kavanaugh’s driveway and cargo a keg into the residence’s basement, the place it was to be saved at a “cool and frosty temperature” till its contents could possibly be consumed.

“The United States Constitution explicitly protects my right to an uninterrupted flow of beer,” Kavanaugh declared. “This will not stand.”

Kavanaugh mentioned that he has “tried to remain calm” in regards to the beer blockade, however warned protesters that, when he will get all the way down to his closing keg, “things could get ugly fast—real fast.”

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