‘I feel stupid as I took my boyfriend back after he got another woman pregnant’ – Coleen Nolan

Dear Coleen

About three years in the past, I dumped my long-term boyfriend after I came upon he was having an affair and that the lady was pregnant.

The affair wasn’t a complete shock – he had type when it got here to dishonest – however I used to be actually shocked by the ­being pregnant and didn’t suppose I’d be capable to transfer on from it and work on the connection, so we broke up.

The factor with the opposite lady additionally ended, however he has a ­relationship together with his son and so far as I can see, he’s a very good and loving dad.

We ran into one another a couple of weeks in the past and have been speaking and assembly up sometimes since. We’re each single and inevitably the ­dialog received spherical to us attempting once more. I’ve missed him and have by no means stopped loving him. I simply hate what he did to me and to our relationship.

I agreed to offer it a shot and take it slowly, however I’m already worrying about my determination. In truth, I really feel so silly for taking him again that I haven’t advised a single soul about it.

Do you suppose our relationship has an opportunity or do you suppose I’m loopy for agreeing to attempt once more? I’d love some recommendation on the place to go from right here.

What recommendation would you give to this reader? Have your say within the remark part

Coleen says

I don’t love the man, however you clearly do, so that you’re being led by your coronary heart fairly than your mind.

I feel taking issues very slowly is a good suggestion – he has to show to you he’s worthy of your belief. It’s not the primary time he’s cheated, so I feel the serial infidelity needs to be tackled and labored by means of, ideally in counselling.

I suppose in the meanwhile I’m questioning what’s modified and why wouldn’t he cheat on you once more? He wants to grasp there are not any extra probabilities and it’s important to respect ­your self sufficient to count on that of him.

As far as different folks go, I’m certain most of your mates and family members shall be shocked and fearful for you. But it’s not their life and all you are able to do is clarify you wish to give it another shot and also you realise it’s a danger.

A real pal will respect your alternative, even when they don’t agree with it, and be there for you if it doesn’t work out.

It’s going to take effort and time to rebuild issues, plus you even have his son to think about. Stepping into the function of stepmum and coping with the opposite lady shall be a problem.

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