10 funniest Christmas cracker jokes of all time guaranteed to make you cringe

This list of Christmas cracker jokes will serve as the perfect inspiration to get your nearest and dearest laughing over this festive period

Man with cracker
Cheesy jokes remain one of the longest standing Christmas traditions

Christmas day is full of traditions — from neglected Brussels sprouts, to tense board games and unwanted gifts from distant relatives. However the day is surely not complete without a cheesy joke delivered in a pulled Christmas cracker.

Corny puns might leave many people groaning in pain, but there’s no better way to bond than over a shared cringe at a tragic one-liner.

Greetings card company have collected a list of some of the most witty one liners, set to get your loved ones chuckling over the festive period.

They might be borderline ‘dad-joke’, but they’re certainly perfect for the Christmas table…

10 cheesy jokes to tell this Christmas

Some puns are so cheesy you can’t help but hang your head


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  • Which of Santa’s reindeer have the worst manners? Rude-olph

  • What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? A Pineapple

  • What goes Oh, Oh, Oh? Santa walking backwards.

  • Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no body to go with.

  • Why was the turkey in the pop group? Because he was the only one with drumsticks!

  • What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps.

  • What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

  • What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper!

  • What do you call a Christmas rom-com about bread? Loaf Actually.

  • How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited? He keeps a logbook.

Why do we tell bad jokes at Christmas?

Like most Christmas traditions, Christmas crackers first came from the Victorian era, and the painful jokes have remained a tradition ever since.

Many people don’t realise that there is supposedly a psychology reason Christmas puns have remained so corny over the years.

Richard Wiseman, a psychology professor at the University of Hertfordshire, told the Express that they became such an established tradition because they are so painfully awful.

Cheesy jokes have been a tradition for many decades


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He said: “I think they’re really interesting from a social psychological perspective.

“One of the key questions is, why aren’t they better?

“What is going on that we all want to tell each other these terrible jokes?”

“There’s nothing embarrassing going on socially, I think they’re actually rather clever.”

He explained: “What they’re doing is about a group experience.

“We’re all going, ‘oh my goodness, that’s terrible,’ but it’s not putting any pressure on the person whose job it is to tell the joke.”

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